"drowning in a room full of people"

Written: 8th November 2020

Collection "my head" Piece 11

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You want to be seen,

I like to be invisible.

You like the attention,

I want to be someone to another someone.

Everyone is too busy laughing,

To notice me standing in the middle of their circle.

Everyone is enjoying their time with each other,

While I’m having conversations with my heart in the corner.

You get through easy,

I trip and fall through every pothole.

You make decisions in a heartbeat,

I still can’t decide if I should say ‘hi’ from 5 years ago.

I stay quiet,

You look at me funny.

I speak my voice,

You check there’s no earth-shattering earthquake.

People say they care for other people,

I’m lying on the cold, wet ground.

People help others,

I’m the only one granting others my food.

Some people are terrified of the ocean,

I find peace with the waves.

Some people have the ability to breathe with ease,

I need my brain to scream for my lungs to open up.

I like the wind, allowing my hair to blind my sight,

While others spill complaints from their mouths.

I run at to the chance to admire nature,

Others are vomiting every synonym to the word ‘no’.

You dream to be big,

I desire to stay sane.

You aspire to be your best,

I try my hardest to stay alive and happy.

The few people who dare to look don’t succeed,

I can’t be found.

They wish and plead to be able to see me,

But I don’t want their eyes to meet mine.

You stand above the crowd,

I surrender, drowning in a room full of people.

You like to swim and float at the surface,

But sometimes, I just want to be let free.